Losing a pet can hurt deeply. Their love is steady and constant, and their absence leaves a profound space. Your grief is real, and it is valid.

Overwhelmed by your feelings? Wondering how to tame your anger, sadness and fear?

This emotional rollercoaster ride is a normal part of life, but sometimes it feels like we're stuck on the rickety, out-of-control part of that ride. We may all have felt at times as if we are drowning in a wave of anger, sadness, or fear. It feels like there's no room left to breathe, those overwhelming feelings taking up all the space, like a bully hogging the entire seesaw, leaving no room for joy and happiness in our lives.

All emotions have a place and function. Feeling angry is normal. Feeling sad is normal. Feeling scared is normal. There are no bad emotions, anger, sadness and fear are all part of the rollercoaster ride of being human. The problem comes when we feel like we're stuck on the rickety, out-of-control part of that ride. Constantly feeling angry, down or anxious can be very tough and feel like pushing a massive boulder up the hill of life. We don't experience the same problem with joy, I don't think there's such a thing as too much joy, right?

So how do we tackle the emotional overwhelm?

While anger, sadness and fear aren't bad emotions, we don't really like them. So we have a tendency to push them down or away, like stuffing a beach ball underwater. But just like that beach ball, those emotions have a way of bobbing back up to the surface, often at the most inconvenient times. Think of them as pent-up energy, and when energy isn't spent in a healthy way, it can build up in our bodies. This can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or tightness in the chest. So, what can we do instead of pretending these emotions don't exist?

The trouble is we are often not even aware what we feel. We often, through life, become disconnected with our bodies and our sensations in our bodies. We also learn through life that some emotions are more acceptable than others. Perhaps in your family when you were growing up it was OK to be sad, but never OK to be angry. You may, as a result "feel" sad at times when you are actually angry. So the first step in healing is to start recognizing and naming what you are feeling. Being curious about your experience, being curious about sensations in your body, like tightness in your chest or a churning in your stomach. These can be clues to what's going on underneath.

We often worry about the overwhelm, if we allow our feelings to surface. We often worry that if we open the Pandora's box of bad feelings it will never end. But the reality is, intense emotions last for around half an hour. The problem is when we bottle them up. Those suppressed feelings can linger for days, weeks, or even months, affecting our mood, behaviour, and even our physical health. If we hold them in long enough we can become overwhelmed and explode like a volcano. Imagine shaking a bottle of coke and opening the lid up – a messy eruption! So what if instead we allow little sips of the pent-up energy to escape in a controlled way?

But what about allowing our feelings to surface in a healthy way? Allowing, naming and validating your feelings is another way to help them dissipate. It has been said that "what we resist persists". If we allow ourselves to feel the feelings, they run out of power, they run out of steam and make space for new feelings and experiences. Instead of shoving our emotions down, we can acknowledge them, name them (am I feeling angry? frustrated? scared?) and validate their existence. Feelings are just that, feelings. They are not facts. We don't have to act on them. They are signals from your body that something is happening. Simply allowing ourselves to feel, acknowledge and process them in a healthy way can be incredibly powerful.

We tend to manage our unwanted feelings in an unhealthy way. We all find our own different way of numbing, like drinking too much, isolating ourselves, overspending, or mindlessly scrolling for hours. Maybe it's drugs, food, sex, excessive phone games, or constantly placing bets. Whatever the unhealthy numbing coping mechanism, it's important to remember: it's only provides temporary relief, and often causes more harm than good.

But what if there was a better way? What if there were healthy tools we could use to manage our emotions that wouldn't leave us feeling worse in the long run?

Some suggestions are pretty common sense and come under the heading of self-care: make sure you eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and prioritize rest and sleep. These healthy habits aren't just good for your physical health, they also play a huge role in regulating your emotional well-being. Think of them like giving your emotional toolbox the right equipment to deal with whatever comes your way.

Going beyond self-care essentials, there are practical techniques we can use to develop healthy coping mechanisms for specific emotions. Techniques like mindfulness exercises, journaling, and spending time in nature, can help us deal with anger, sadness, and fear in a healthy way and create more space for joy in our lives.

We are all very unique, so it is important to find your own way of taking control of the emotional overwhelm.

Here are a few examples of techniques you can try:

• Mindfulness exercises: Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. There are many different mindfulness exercises, such as meditation and deep breathing. These exercises can help us to become more aware of our emotions and to accept them without judgment.

• Journaling: Journaling is a great way to explore your emotions and to identify patterns in your thinking. When you write down your thoughts and feelings, it can help you to make sense of them and to develop healthier coping mechanisms.

• Spending time in nature: Spending time in nature has been shown to have a number of benefits for mental health, including reducing stress and anxiety. When you are feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, take some time for a walk in the park or a hike in the woods.

• Gratitude journaling: Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help to shift your perspective and boost your mood. Gratitude journaling involves taking a few minutes each day to write down things you are grateful for. This could be anything from big things like your health and loved ones to small things like a beautiful sunset or a great cup of coffee.

By taking care of yourself and developing and practicing healthy coping mechanisms, you can learn to manage your emotions in a healthy way, take control of your life and create a more joyful and fulfilling life.

Remember, you are not alone. If self-help isn't working for you right now, if putting in place self-care strategies is a struggle you may consider talking therapy. A therapist can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Don’t suffer in silence. Don't hesitate to reach out for help. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled.

Here is one of my favourite short meditations to help with unwanted thoughts and feelings:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exLaebgFO_8